The Weekly: 3
Hello all you lovely people. And hello people who start conversations with “what’s new?"
This is the third installment of the weekly "The Weekly” and just like Irish families this list keeps on doublin’ [you’ll get it]. Mostly thanks to my family. Actually entirely thanks to my family. And they're not even Irish.
I signed up for a stand-up comedy class so I can be funnier. My loyal subscribers deserve it. So do the non-loyal ones. They’re people too. Lesser ones, but still people.
When I die, who will ensure my dying wishes are carried out? And can I even trust that person? I’m a fan of trust-but-verify, but verifying is tough when you’re dead. I could fake my own death and see who’s done their job and who’s decided to cremate instead of bury because it was cheaper and they wouldn’t feel guilted into visiting a plot of dirt with a headstone every death-a-versary. What would I tell that person? Probably just ask them who they thought they were cremating.
At what point during a pregnancy does a women lose her ability to take a normal head-on photo? There’s a magical point during the pregnancy when, right when she’s about to take a photo, her mind goes blank and she decides “Hold on...Turn sideways...Hands above and below belly…Look down…Add lens flare.”
Dish I’m Cooking
Cold-pressed coffee. I never drank cold-pressed coffee because the people that drink it annoy me. They’re the same people who say they can’t have regular coffee because they’re "sensitive to the acid", drink kombucha, or use the term locavore. But then I bought a coffee grinder and needed to use up an extra pound of beans. And now I’m a convert. Only on the coffee front; I’ll never use the term locavore.
Drink I’m Drinking
Mimosas. Orange juice has vitamins and champagne is wine and wine has antioxidants.
Purchase I’m Purchasing
The Baratza Encore Conical Burr Coffee Grinder with Bin. With Bin! The Baratza Encore comes in Matte Black, features 40 grind settings and a Grind Speed of .8 to 1.1g/sec [I’ve timed this; it’s accurate]. It comes in one of two product packaging options: Frustration Free Packaging or Full-of-Frustration Packaging. I wonder what that product development conversation was like. “How can we market to people looking to cut down on frustration?" "I know, let’s remove all the frustration from the packing, making it entirely frustration free.” “Good idea, but let’s give customers the option. We don’t want to alienate the frustration loyalists.”